Show and Tell

I post pictures of what I drink on Instagram. 

Why?

Do I think I'm an amazing artist who has a great eye for the shot? Instead of taking the picture head on, I get out of my chair, crouch down and get an artistic angle. Then I transfer the image into a Photoshop app where I play with some settings, pretending to know what I'm doing. All in an effort to make it look like I'm a professional.

#beer

Do I think I'm special and that everyone wants to know exactly what I'm drinking on any given night? Me, me, me. Pay attention to me! Look what I'm doing, it's probably important!

#craftbeer

Maybe I'm just bragging. Bragging that I scored a ton of hard-to-get beers. Beers that people lust after and will trade just about anything to get. These beers dominate the forums on the "beer websites" and are listed in just about every trader's ISO (in search of) list.  I can drink them anytime I want, no big deal. I'm just awesome like that. Sometimes I may even just pull them out and take a picture to tease. This is a competition after all, isn't it?

#whalezbro

It's possible that I post to "turn my nose up"at other beer drinkers? Sometimes I may post beers from styles that aren't trendy. Am I taking a dig at people who drink and post the rare beer pictures? Maybe I am trying to make myself look better because I drink beers that aren't trendy? Isn't this the very definition of a beer snob?

#beerporn

All of this reminds me that I just drank a beer and didn't check into Untappd. Pardon me while I rate this beer and describe it in less than 140 characters.

Beer is the New Black

I had an idea for a blog post, a continuing one, but I’m not sure if I want to pursue it.

It all started about a week ago when I was talking with one of my best friends about a couple of blog ideas. One was the black market for beer. I wanted to bring more awareness to it and defend my view of it being wrong. He admired my enthusiasm and agreed with me on my main point: it is wrong to buy beer and turn it over for a ridiculous mark up.

However, he did make a point about one of the simple laws of economics: the law of supply and demand. When quantity supplied is equal to quantity demanded, we are at equilibrium. For beer, this means the amount of a certain beer available is exactly the same as the amount people want of that beer. 

When quantity supplied is MORE, we have a surplus. When quantity supplied is less than the quantity demanded, we have a shortage. It is in this shortage that a black market can exist.

In the world of craft beer, this is where we are at right now for a small select percentage of highly sought-after beers (Cantillon’s lambics, 3Floyd’s Dark Lord, Goose Island’s Bourbon County Stout, Westvleteren 12, The Alchemist’s Heady Topper....just to name of few). The demand for these beers is insane. Go onto any beer-related internet forum and you will see people trading for them. Head over to Craigslist and do a simple search to quickly yield at least a couple of results for trades or for sale (depending of course on the area in which you are searching).

After thinking about that conversation for the past week, I saw an article yesterday about a bar in Washington D.C. that hosted a ticketed event where they poured Heady Topper and a handful of beers from Hill Farmstead (a Vermont brewery with highly sought-after beers). Through a loophole in the system, this bar was essentially able to sell these beers even though they aren’t distributed anywhere near D.C. I won’t dig too far into the article. If you would like to read it, head over to DC Beer

The question I asked myself after reading the article and discussing it with my friend is:

Is selling beer on the black market for a profit wrong?

First off, let’s get this point out of the way: It’s illegal. The point that I want to discuss is if it is morally wrong, not wrong in the eyes of the law.

To put it into perspective, we often look the other way or just accept when other items are sold for a profit from a consumer to a consumer. Comic books. Antiques. Sports memorabilia. Concert tickets. But when an individual sells a beer for profit, we immediately take to the defense about how crooked her or she is for doing this. I’m one of the people who cry the loudest when it comes this. Read my blog post “Do You Realize What You’ve Done?!?!” for a great example of how I feel about consumers selling beer for a mark-up.  

Yet now, I am left questioning myself. If I don’t feel that it is wrong to sell a rare comic book at a mark-up, why is it wrong to sell a beer the same way then?

Where do we draw the line? Where should I draw the line?

If people are willing to pay the high price to get their hands on a bottle of Cantillon or Heady Topper, should we accept it (minus the whole being illegal part)?

If you’ve read my blog before then you’ll know that I am blunt, satirical and critical of certain aspects of the craft beer and beer community.

But is this one aspect of the industry where I could just be wrong?

It’s not like we are talking about people being killed and then their organs being harvested. 

It is just beer after all.

Beer Snob of the Week - Dark Lord Day

A new weekly (or biweekly) feature on Garde My Biere!

In case you missed it (I know you didn't...), Dark Lord Day tickets went on sale on Monday. I tried to get tickets, but I didn't.

[INSERT RANT HERE!]

After the dust settled and I was left ticketless, the world didn't end. It continued to chug along. The sun still set and it still rose the next day. My glass was still half full even though I finished half of it.

But for some people, the apocalypse came in the early afternoon on Monday, March 17th. But why? It is JUST BEER! There is plenty more of it in the fermenter, on the store shelves, in the keg and in my fridge. Wonderful, excellent beer that we could drink instead of complaining.

Which brings us to my favorite part about Dark Lord Day: the reading material. Every single year I visit Twitter or Facebook after the tickets sell out to read the absolutely amazing rants people leave. It's the highlight of my day.

This year it was a little different. Let's first acknowledge the elephant in the room: the queue for the tickets started before noon (my friend texted me at 11:45a telling me to get on the site immediately). A lot of the Facebook and Twitter rants were about this. I will admit that this SEEMED to be unfair, but I don't know what really happened to allow that and I probably never will.

But what I do know is that there still were a lot of comments laced with beer snobbery. My favorite was this one:

"Another year, another botched ticket sale event. Why do I even try anymore? DLD is just a shitty money grab revolved around an artificially scarce, over-hyped beer. Sadly, it will never improve as long as they keep selling out and 3F makes money hand over fist.

Every year the event gets more popular. Every year more people come in from out of town. Every year, the locals and regulars that support 3Floyds year round get screwed out of attending. They don't care that their botched system screwed you out of a ticket. They don't care who does or doesn't get tickets as long as that person brings them money. They just care about making as much money as possible on DLD."

3Floyds does care, my friend. If you haven't noticed, in the past few years Dark Lord Day has gotten better. A LOT BETTER! Even the ticket buying process has gotten a lot better. If you take away the unfortunate early queue, this year was the best year for buying tickets online. If the early queue gets fixed, we may have a winner.

3Floyds has also gone to great lengths in recent years to ensure that the DLD experience improves. Last year they greatly expanded on the festival grounds, the amount of Porta Potties, the guest draft list, the actual 3Floyds draft list, and the amount of seating available. 2013 was the best DLD day that I have been too. (In case you are wondering, I have gone the past three years.)

They even print your name on the ticket now to help prevent ticket scalping!!

Yet, we still complain. Would you still be complaining if you were one of the people that hit "refresh" and ended up in the queue?

Probably not.

Stop blaming 3Floyds and start blaming yourself.

We created this monster.

They did not.

Do You Realize What You've Done?!?!

When has it gone too far?

Hunahpu Day 2014: an event that was supposed to be a celebration. It was held every single year for the past few years and was seen as a culmination for not only the brewery but also for craft beer fans alike. An event to celebrate where we have come, what beer is and what beer can be. A place to share, to discuss, to laugh and to create lifelong memories never to be forgotten.

All gone.

Ticket scammers can really ruin it for the rest of us.

Is it possible all of this has gone too far?

Waiting in line for a beer release, a man walks up and down the line with a bottle in his hand. He doesn’t say a word but everyone in line knows what he is doing. Someone approaches him and they talk briefly for a moment. The man hands over that bottle and in return accepts his bounty. A transaction just took place and the seller pocketed more than three times what he originally paid for that bottle.

I'll sell these to you...

When will we start to believe that it has gone too far?

Go to Craigslist right now. Type in “Dark Lord” “Bourbon County” “Rare beer”. Click on one of the ads. Do you believe that some people will actually pay those prices and that mark-up?

Now, do you believe that this is what the brewery and the people who worked incredibly hard to make this beer would want?

Reasonably priced?

Whatever happened to predictability? The milk man, the paper boy, evening T.V.

Tickets sell out for a beer event in less than two minutes. Instead of blaming the rising popularity of craft beer, we slander the brewery and automatically assume it is doing something wrong. Drag its name into the mud instead of learning about the simple laws of economics like supply and demand.

Beer experts are now everywhere. Experts who will completely destroy a beer for what it is, yet admit that they just “don’t like that style.” Beer experts who will drink their weight in whatever is fashionable but never bother to open a book to educate themselves on what they are drinking.

The internet has become a veil to hide behind. An online forum that was meant to be a place where like-minded individuals could come to share their passion is often a place where people will call out, unjustly criticize and be downright rude to other beer drinkers and breweries. 

(Beer forums are sadly not the only sites that fall victim to this. Check out the comment sections on YouTube sometime. What is the point of all of the arguing?)

Craft beer is mainstream now. It is in movies, on the subway, on television and dominates the liquor store’s beer aisles. In Chicago, I can go to almost any bar in the city and guarantee that I can find something that we label “craft” available.

But at some point we need to stop, look at ourselves and ask ourselves one simple question:

Are we helping or are we hurting craft beer?

The Session #85 - Why Do You Drink?

My first session.

I've been an avid fan of this monthly "gathering" for...I don't know how long. If you haven't heard of it, head over to Baltimore Bistros and Beer. He explains it so I don't have too.

I was incredibly excited to finally be able to participate in this. I have been racking my brain all week trying to come up with something. Last night, I gave up. Sometimes inspiration just never hits. Then, ten minutes ago when I was taking out the garbage, the light bulb lit up.

In my true dry sense of humor form, I present my first contribution to the session...




I don't play sports. Golf. Football. Basketball. Curling. Downhill Luge.

I don't participate in competitions. Chess. Darts. Nathan's Annual Hot Dog Eating Contest.

So how am I supposed to get any trophies!?

That's why I drink.

I've got a Golden Ticket!

15 minutes

I am beyond excited. Four computers are lined up side by side, each with the online store already pulled up and ready to go. Fast internet connection, check. Phone and tablet for back-up, check. This is going to be great. Even my girlfriend is getting in on the fun and going to help me secure a pair of tickets to the greatest beer release in all the land.

12 minutes

O boy, o boy, O BOY! I’ve waited for this all year. One of my favorite days of the year. I’ve already booked my hotel well ahead of time. Seeing as there is no chance that I won’t secure a pair of tickets, it made sense. I plan on getting drunk. Blacked out drunk on all of the awesome beers that will be available. Stouts. And IPAs. And...and...other stuff. Woo!

10 minutes

I should probably open a beer for this. Celebrate getting tickets to one of the most sought after events in the craft beer community. Maybe something from the brewery that is hosting the event. Support the place that is going through all of this trouble for a fan-hyped beer release. Maybe I’ll even have one of the special beers from last year...that would be perfect!

7 minutes

Almost time! I better refresh really quick just to make sure they haven’t gone on sale early. Should I? Yea, let’s do it! 

........

Nope nothing yet. 

5 minutes

I have my whole day planned out. I’m going to get there before everyone else. Really, really early in the morning, maybe even the night before. Right when we get there I’ll open up my 13% bourbon barrel aged imperial stout. Some sours after that, followed by some hops. I should probably bring some water too, or maybe a couple of beers with a lower percentage of alcohol so I don’t end up passed out in the grass at 11 am. This festival does last the whole day. Screw it. Go big or go home, right?!

2 minutes

I’m starting to get a little nervous. What happens if I don’t get tickets? No way. Of course I’ll get tickets. I’m a diehard fan. They owe me. I’ve been drinking their beer for like...2 years. I’ve given all of their beers good reviews on beer websites and even bought a shirt and had it mailed to me. They should be begging me to go with all that I have done for them.

0 minutes.

REFRESH! Computer one. Computer two. Jen, did you refresh your computers?! Get with it!

Why are my computers going so slow?! WHY?! Go faster! Stop spinning, you stupid ball, and load the page!

Hurry!!

Error 404. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

Come on, come on, COME ON! 

Page cannot be refreshed. SHIT!

Wait! Jen is in! Rare beer release here we come! 

Session 1 is sold out. Please choose another session. Huh, already?! 

Session 2 is sold out. Please choose another session. You have got to be kidding me!!

Session 3 is sold out. Sorry!

WHAT THE FUCK?! How can all of tickets already be sold out?! It has been like two minutes! Quick, check Facebook. People always start to post on Facebook and complain when tickets are sold out.

I can’t believe I didn’t get any tickets! This is bullshit! I’m like this brewery’s biggest fan, been supporting them for years and this is how they repay me? I’m going to post something angry on Twitter. Better yet, I’ll go to the brewery’s Facebook page and post something mean and passive aggressive. I’ll also go on the beer forums and complain about how all of these fair weather, trendy craft beer fans stole all of the tickets.

I may even write a strongly-worded letter to the owner himself!

I can’t believe this shit.  How can this brewery treat their fans like this? How can they make their tickets available online to everyone in what is probably the fairest way possible but not save a pair of tickets to a sort-of local mildly hardcore craft beer drinker who has been drinking their beer for 2 years!

THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY!

I’m done. Never going to drink their beer again. How dare they brew a beer that everyone wants and then try to please the most amount of people possible and spread around the love as much as they can. 

THEY DIDN’T CATER SPECIFICALLY TO ME!

Screw it.

I’m too good for their beer anyway.